What should I do when my Ex Calls

The no contact rule is not a strategy to make your Ex miss you and want you back it to help you heal.  You cannot be successful in moving on without implementing the No Contact rule.  You must accept that your Ex will attempt to make contact with you via text, email, or phone within the first few weeks of no contact.  Often time’s men express their desire to end relationships; however they are not ready to deal with the gravity of their decision – he will have a hard time being ignored. Having him reach out is not a sign that he wants to work on your relationship. 

You must resist the urge to call or respond to him – you must block his calls now.

You can expect to battle with your ability to manage your emotions and behavior, in the first few weeks  – many women struggle with unpredictable behavior.  Going “No Contact” is beneficial to you because it allows you to disconnect and begin the healing process without wasting your time on an emotional roller coaster, crying, and hurting. Most important; it limits the chance that you will beg your Ex to reconcile.

The most important thing you need to know is – It takes two to make a relationship work and just one to break up. The no contact rule will not revive your relationship it will give you the clarity, time, and space required to heal your heart and move forward.

You must do the work now to heal mentally and emotionally or you will not have success in future relationships.

But I need closureWhen relationships come to an end one of the top things partners desire is closure. There is a common misconception that closure comes from revisiting the past with an Ex and trying to figure out what went wrong. Doing this will cause further damage and heartache, because your Ex cannot help you find closure. Closure comes from learning from past experiences and using those experiences to grow. 

Do not make an announcementAnnouncing your initiation of the no contact rule will make you appear desperate to gain his attention. Men can see when women are reaching for attention. You are not desperate and appearing desperate is a turn off. Do not make any announcements your silence will speak loud enough.

​​ You don’t have to call
When you think about it there isn’t a need to continue having interactions with your Ex (when you don’t have children). Once the relationship is over the only thing you have to do is work on you – your Ex cannot help you heal.  Reaching out to him will result in awkward and uncomfortable conversations.
Going no contact will be difficult enough without the added pressure of worrying about what your Ex will say if you fail.

Set backs are realIt is not uncommon to have a set back or two when after implementing the no contact rule.  Having no contact with your Ex takes time and it is difficult. Most women report feeling disappointed with themselves after doing so well in the beginning of no contact and having a set back.
Imagine if you called your Ex to announce that you will no longer be in contact with them and along your journey you have a difficult day and then next thing you know you are on the phone with your Ex.
It’s easy to move past a private setback, but it’s painful to move past a setback you experience publically. 

Ending No ContactNo Contact does not have to last forever however it does have to last until you are completely healed.  You cannot reach out to your Ex after the relationship ends.  
If you have to desire to establish a friendship with your Ex and you are wondering how long you must wait to reconcile and reconnect as friends – there isn’t a timeline.  You are ready reconnect and have build a friendship with your Ex when you do not have any feelings for him.  You will know you are ready when you are able to see him with another woman and your feeling a neutral – meaning you place him is the same category as you would an old friend from high school that you vow to never date.

Thank you for sharing!!!

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