In the last three years I have met thousands of women and learned the answer to “how long it takes to recover after a break up” – it is not clear. Bouncing back after a breakup depends on the individual, how the relationship ended, and the steps taken to heal after the break up.
Flashback: It hurt more than words can expressIn the summer of 2007 my longtime boyfriend and I broke up. I was devastated, because all of our dreams and plans together went out the door. I was in my mid twenties and I knew (or I thought I knew) all of the good guys were gone.
Truth: Knew it all alongI admit the breakup did not come as a surprise. The relationship was bad long before things shattered and fell apart – all of the signs were there, I chose to ignore them. I chose to ignore them because I didn’t want to accept the reality of being alone. Most important, I didn’t want to deal with the pain of a breakup.
Freedom: Break free completely After the breakup we vowed to be friends, but this just made things so much more complicated. After a breakup your emotional attachments are still too intense to have a healthy friendship. It will feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster most days. The only thing you can do to get over him was to completely detach.
Detachment requires “No Contact Rule”. After my breakup I committed to detaching.
Then I gave myself harsh a deadline to be healed within the next 30 days. I do not encourage you to do this, because you will be disappointed when you cannot meet such an unrealistic goal – 60 days after my breakup I was still a sobbing, red eye (from crying) emotional wreck. I experienced a shift along my journey to recovery when I released myself from time lines and focused on taking things one day at a time.
It is unrealistic to think you are going to feel better within a week of experiencing a breakup. The reality is you may begin to feel worst, as reality begins to set in.
You must also consider the amount of time you were with your Ex. The longer the relationship and the closer you were, the longer it will take before you being to reach a state of normalcy.
The vast majority of women begin to experience relief within 3-6 month for shorter relationships, and others have reported relief within 6-12 months for more serious relationships. The time to recover really depends on you and the steps you take along the journey.
Thank you for sharing!!!