The pain you feel is not just in your mind it is real. Break ups are a traumatic experience and it does not matter how strong you believe you are physically or mentally. Studies have compared active areas of the brain when participate look at pictures of an Ex vs when they experience physical pain or trauma. The study revealed pain after a breakup activates the same areas of the brain as when you experience physical pain. Research also suggest the more difficult the break up the deeper the pain will feel.
The outcome of this research makes it clear that break up are a big deal, because the brain appears to process break ups in the same regions as physical pain. Although you will not experience the same physical pain resulting from trauma; the brain recognizes a break up as being a serious and painful event.
You can learn more about the details of the research conducted by the late Edward Smith of Columbia University Below:(https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201104/the-neuroscience-relationship-breakups)
After a break up everyone will have a different starting point when it comes to healing; however the first priority is to make the pain stop.
Need to get your ex-backOne of the most common responses is feeling the need to get your ex-back. Your brain may tell you that there is no future without them in the picture. It will not matter how peaceful life is without them or how much progress you are making. The pain you are experiencing out weighs everything and there are tons of questions. You feel worthless. You wonder if real love will ever come your way. You wonder if you are good enough for a relationship. You wonder if the break up was your fault.
More important you want to fast track your path to healing and reconnect with joy, peace, and happiness. This gives you a heightened desire to return to your Ex, because you believe going back will release the pain.
Just like you and I there are many women that have tried to put their relationship back together and many have lived to regret their decision to do so. After returning to their relationship they find not much has changed, and many find things are must worst, because there are now feeling of resentment and your man may harbor negative feelings about your decision to walk away.
Reduce the painIf you are missing your Ex – people, places, and events are triggering your feelings. Your best course of action is to create new habits and social circles. If you are struggling with being single around the holiday’s I recommend planning activities with friends and family prior to the holiday’s arriving. When you make plans in advance you will not have the added stress of – “Who am I going to be with” for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years etc.
Resilient RecoveryThe initial shock of a break up is difficult and for some it’s life changing. In the beginning it is common to feel all hope is lost, but women who focus on self-care and continue taking steps forward find purpose and healing. A study assessed College students who recently experienced a break – the research revealed they experienced significantly less distress about breaking up after approximately tens weeks. Other studies suggest that the craving for your Ex will decrease as more time has passed since the breakup.(https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201104/the-neuroscience-relationship-breakups)
Do not expect to recover immediately after a break up. Break ups are equivalent to physical trauma and healing will require time, space, and an intense focus on self-care for you to recover. If your feelings are too intense, you are unable to engage in normal activities, or you cannot manage alone, you should schedule time to speak with a counselor in your area.
Thank you for sharing!!!